McCappo's Health Situation

Last weekend I drove to Naval Station Great Lakes for a pre-commissioning physical.  They had the gall to order me not to eat for 12 hours preceding the physical.  After our blood work (there were five future submariners in total), we all decided a celebratory trip to the friendly on-base McDonald's was in order.  Following my McChurger and McDouble (I was feeling a might peckish having not eaten since the day before), I reported for the second part of my physical. 

This second part happened to include an EKG.  As I lay on the table with electrodes wired to my nipples, I wondered what was taking so long.  After the operator called in the technician and then the doctor, I got a little worried--worried I wasn't going to get out in time to hit the McDonald's up before it closed.  They asked me if I had any chest pain.  Of course I said no.  I exercise my arteries regularly by forcing them to overcome copious amounts of McDonald's.  I may not be a cardiologist, but as I understand it, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger.  So I figure my heart is probably about as strong as a small whale's.  Anyway, they finally told me what was going on. 

EKG - Showing signs of mild infarction

"It say's you've had a heart attack." 

Well this was news to me.  You would think I would know if I'd had a heart attack.  They agreed; I should have noticed if I had had a heart attack.  Upon further assurance that I had not had a heart attack, they decided to send my EKG results to the cardiologist who would look over it further.  Having not heard back from them, I'm assuming they're feeling mighty silly right about now and don't want to mention how they thought I had a heart attack.

Don't worry folks, I assure you I am fit as a fiddle and my off-season training regiment is as rigorous as always (I scored an Outstanding Low on my Physical Readiness Test and a Second Class on my Combat Fitness Test, a mere 3 seconds shy of First Class).  I promise I will be ready to go by next season and regardless of what the analysts say, I should be everyone's number one pick in their fantasy drafts next year.

I'm lovin' it,

McCappo